Authenticity

/Authenticity

HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TEENAGER

“Do you wanna know why I am the way I am?” My fifteen year old daughter screamed at me one evening. Frozen on the spot, mouth open, I was unsure if I really wanted to hear her answer. Somewhere in my head, I believed she was ‘just’ another angry teenager who was about to unleash her wrath one more time.   Tears rolling down her face, she wiped them swiftly with the back of her hand. “I’m the way I am because of you! You’re such a hypocrite! You pretend you care, but you don’t! Want me to prove it to you again? What did I just say before what I just said?”   She had me again and she knew it. I went deeper inside my head to remember what she had just said prior to her rant, and my mind drew a blank. I looked at her, moving

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WITH INTEGRITY

When Sally* came to see me, she was finding herself in quite the pickle jam. Her relationship with her husband was at such a level that she had jumped the fence and committed adultery. She said she felt horrible about what she had just done. She told me adultery felt yucky to her and that she never wanted to put herself in that situation again. She made it clear to me she needed my coaching assistance because she wanted to be able to live with herself again. Listening to her, I saw how Sally seemed like a decent person who wanted to live in integrity.   Through my talking with her, I found out her relationship with her life partner had been deteriorating for years. She said that when she wanted to talk to him about their relationship, he either got angry saying it was ‘all’ her fault or he

THE FIVE KEYS TO IGNITING YOUR PASSION AND CLOSE MORE SALES

Passion is infectious across sales teams and to customers.  Result: more sales closed.   When Claude* came to see me, she believed that if she tried ‘hard’ enough and kept working till she dropped exhausted every night, then she ‘knew’ what passion was and was therefore ‘living’ it.   But when I asked her how this ‘passion’ of hers was showing up in her business results, she shyly confessed she was struggling at bringing new customers in. She even said she had been living from pay cheque to pay cheque lately. This told me how Claude had done what so many of us do, falsely equate passion with sheer will.   Through my talking with her, I found out Claude was considering skipping ship; she was considering moving to a competitor of her current employer. When asked why, she said she felt like she wasn’t growing as a person and

THE FIVE MYTHS ABOUT CREATIVITY IN THE BUSINESS WORLD

“Who do you consider as being creative?” I asked my potential client, Kravis*, who sat in front of me clothed in a navy blue pinstriped suit, matching blue tie, crisply ironed white shirt, and bull-bear Tiffany cufflinks. Crossing his hands in front of me, Kravis leaned forward and affirmed, “Look Anne, there’s no money in arts.” To me, the mere fact Kravis had immediately associated creativity to arts told me how he seemed to falsely believe that creativity is a realm only accessible in arts. But is true? Is it always true that creativity can only be found in arts?   Here are five myths about creativity in the business world.   Myth #1. Only singers and painters are creative?  In a 2011 study (1) performed by the University of Hong Kong, researchers wanted to determine who Chinese and German undergraduates believed were the best national and international creators. Their study showed

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS PREVENTS MORE CLOSED SALES

Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. Ever been in that situation?   They had thought about it long and hard. They knew in their heart they wanted that gift more than anything else. Apparently, they were this clear. Sometimes, such is the case for us, right?   One day, like many of us do, they walk up to their loved one and say with sparkling eyes, “I know what I want for my birthday.”   Perhaps preoccupied with other things, their loved one casually replies, “Oh! You do? Great! What is it?”   Taking a deep breath, this person affirms with conviction, “I want …” and, like perhaps you and me, awaits for reciprocity in kind.   Now imagine this person’s surprise when their counterpart utters, “No,

THREE WAYS YOU ARE ALREADY CREATIVE AND DID NOT KNOW IT

“I want to be creative!” blurted Mark* when he came to see me. Mark is a professional in his early thirties who feels there is more life than just sitting at a desk drawing rows and columns of numbers for his boss. When I replied that he is indeed creative, he looked at me, mouth open.   Like many other professionals perhaps, Mark had not realized yet how his level of critical thinking marries well with his creativity. I understand… like many of us, he had been taught from a young age that logic and creativity apparently make poor bed fellows. But is true? Is it always true that critical thinking and creativity can never rally for the same cause?   Let’s find out…   When it comes to….   #1: PROPORTIONALITY The great painter Leonardo Da Vinci and other Renaissance masters are known to have used the mathematical ratio

HOW TO TELL BETWEEN SADNESS AND DEPRESSION

  I was sitting under a tree. It was early morning and the area was deserted at this time of day. It suited me just fine, this isolation, because I now felt safe enough to let tears run down my cheeks. I was feeling sad inside and this so-called sadness seemed to have swallowed my entire life. Touching a tree root with my left hand, I begged it to help me move forward, to give me energy, for I felt tired, wary, drained.   This tree where I hid from the world was located in a kids’ park of all places. To my left were swings with sky blue seats. In front of me were earth brown curvy slides. To my right was this kind of roped knitted dome where little ones exercised their climbing skills.   A little boy accompanied by an adult comes running into the park. He

HOW TO OVERCOME MONEY CHASING SYNDROME TO FIND TRUE HAPPINESS

When Cassie* came to see me, she said money was practically everything to her and money was driving her crazy.    Through my talking with her, I found out she mostly determined the importance of people based on the money they made, the financial savings they had, event the type of food they ordered in restaurants. Defensively, she added she also paid a close watch to her own bank account. When hungry for her favourite food in a restaurant, if the price was not right according to her (meaning, the item could be found cheaper elsewhere), she refrained from ordering it, choosing instead to deprive herself of happiness from eating her favourite dish.   Have you ever been in a situation where you deprived yourself of happiness?     Though she and her life partner were professionals who made good salaries, she dressed simply, barely any make-up or jewelry on,

WHY NICE GIRLS RUN AWAY FROM THEIR TRUTH AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT

When Trendy* came to see me, she was sporting a fashionable haircut and wearing a hot designer tee and fancy shoes. She gave me a big hug, telling me loudly how grateful she was to be here. When she sat in front of me, she asked me with an even bigger smile and honey voice how I was. If it had not been for her arms crossing in front of her and her physical body positioning away from me as she said these words, one might have confused her for an empowered and dynamic woman. To me, I had just met another nice girl.   Through my talking with her, I found out Trendy was in an unsatisfying marriage, but she had not confronted her husband about it yet because ‘I do not want to hurt his feelings’ was her excuse. I also found out she was frustrated with her

HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’    On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.   Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is