Compassion

/Compassion

HOW TO DEAL WITH AN EMOTIONALLY SICK PARENT

I didn’t ask myself ‘Is she emotionally sick?’ I was eight years old and like many other kids, I just wanted to go play outside and make sure I had a clean pair of pants to wear to go to school the next day. Plus, what does ‘emotionally’ even mean to a kid?   I didn’t even ask if she was sick. I mean, she looked fine on the surface.  She could walk and talk, though she said and did things that even I found strange by moments. Like that time she put my hands on her tummy and told me she had a baby inside. She said she was the Virgin Mary and she was going to give birth to the child of Jesus Christ. As strange as she sounded and behaved at times, my mother was not running a fever or having a drippy nose.   When I

HOW TO FEEL YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

I couldn’t believe he had done it again. I was so angry that I didn’t even take the time to ask myself what could be wrong with him. Instead, I marched right over where he was, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and threw him unmercifully on the cold concrete of the back patio. This was the nth time that day that the kids’ puppy, Snowy, had pooped in the living room. I had enough!   I watched him as he pawed the glass door, crying to be let back in. I yelled at him to go pee and poop as if a four month old puppy could have complete control over its bodily functions. He looked at me with pleading eyes. I pretended not to care and told him in a stern voice to go do his business or stay outside, his choice.   Snowy was a

HOW TO GET YOUR CUSTOMER TO KNOW YOU, LIKE YOU, AND TRUST YOU 

When Levy* (fictitious name) came to see me, he quietly walked into the room. He chose a seat far away from me. He sat in the chair, his back straight, his hands firmly crossed in front of him. When I asked him how he was, he answered, “Good.” Asked if he would like a warm cup of tea, he said “no” then he quickly glanced at his watch as if he suddenly had an appointment somewhere else. Taking in Levy’s behaviours, I knew what I needed to do to make him feel I am trustworthy of having him as a client.   Through my talking with him, I found out his father criticized him a lot, often telling him he wasn’t good enough. He said his family was very much money-oriented, with success determined on how much money each member made and saved. Laughing nervously, he said the bigger the

HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TEENAGER

“Do you wanna know why I am the way I am?” My fifteen year old daughter screamed at me one evening. Frozen on the spot, mouth open, I was unsure if I really wanted to hear her answer. Somewhere in my head, I believed she was ‘just’ another angry teenager who was about to unleash her wrath one more time.   Tears rolling down her face, she wiped them swiftly with the back of her hand. “I’m the way I am because of you! You’re such a hypocrite! You pretend you care, but you don’t! Want me to prove it to you again? What did I just say before what I just said?”   She had me again and she knew it. I went deeper inside my head to remember what she had just said prior to her rant, and my mind drew a blank. I looked at her, moving

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WITH INTEGRITY

When Sally* came to see me, she was finding herself in quite the pickle jam. Her relationship with her husband was at such a level that she had jumped the fence and committed adultery. She said she felt horrible about what she had just done. She told me adultery felt yucky to her and that she never wanted to put herself in that situation again. She made it clear to me she needed my coaching assistance because she wanted to be able to live with herself again. Listening to her, I saw how Sally seemed like a decent person who wanted to live in integrity.   Through my talking with her, I found out her relationship with her life partner had been deteriorating for years. She said that when she wanted to talk to him about their relationship, he either got angry saying it was ‘all’ her fault or he

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS PREVENTS MORE CLOSED SALES

Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. Ever been in that situation?   They had thought about it long and hard. They knew in their heart they wanted that gift more than anything else. Apparently, they were this clear. Sometimes, such is the case for us, right?   One day, like many of us do, they walk up to their loved one and say with sparkling eyes, “I know what I want for my birthday.”   Perhaps preoccupied with other things, their loved one casually replies, “Oh! You do? Great! What is it?”   Taking a deep breath, this person affirms with conviction, “I want …” and, like perhaps you and me, awaits for reciprocity in kind.   Now imagine this person’s surprise when their counterpart utters, “No,

THREE WAYS YOU ARE ALREADY CREATIVE AND DID NOT KNOW IT

“I want to be creative!” blurted Mark* when he came to see me. Mark is a professional in his early thirties who feels there is more life than just sitting at a desk drawing rows and columns of numbers for his boss. When I replied that he is indeed creative, he looked at me, mouth open.   Like many other professionals perhaps, Mark had not realized yet how his level of critical thinking marries well with his creativity. I understand… like many of us, he had been taught from a young age that logic and creativity apparently make poor bed fellows. But is true? Is it always true that critical thinking and creativity can never rally for the same cause?   Let’s find out…   When it comes to….   #1: PROPORTIONALITY The great painter Leonardo Da Vinci and other Renaissance masters are known to have used the mathematical ratio

HOW TO TELL BETWEEN SADNESS AND DEPRESSION

  I was sitting under a tree. It was early morning and the area was deserted at this time of day. It suited me just fine, this isolation, because I now felt safe enough to let tears run down my cheeks. I was feeling sad inside and this so-called sadness seemed to have swallowed my entire life. Touching a tree root with my left hand, I begged it to help me move forward, to give me energy, for I felt tired, wary, drained.   This tree where I hid from the world was located in a kids’ park of all places. To my left were swings with sky blue seats. In front of me were earth brown curvy slides. To my right was this kind of roped knitted dome where little ones exercised their climbing skills.   A little boy accompanied by an adult comes running into the park. He

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS IS KILLING YOUR SALES

When Jack* came to see me, I noticed right away how super groomed he was. His beard was trimmed impeccably. His light blue shirt, fitting and ironed crisp, was tightly hugging muscles that must have spent a lot of time at the gym working out. Even his nails were nicely buffed and trimmed. Asking him how I may serve him, he said he knew what he wanted and what he had to do to get it. If such was indeed the case, why seek my assistance?   Through my talking with him, I found out Jack was a district manager catering to quite a few well-known franchised establishments throughout his city and beyond. Part of his job was to ensure uniformity of products and services under a specific brand. He said the hours were long, but the pay was really good. So, what was the problem?   Jack confessed he

HOW TO STRAY FROM ANXIETY TO LIVE FROM A PLACE OF WELL-BEING

  When Dixie* came to see me, her hands trembled a little as she talked about her husband’s anxiety. She shared how he apparently often sat in their apartment’s living room feeling overwhelmed, his eyes sort of absent, all because he seemed not to know what to do next. Dixie continued by saying she was getting fed up with her husband’s perceived inability to ‘get a grip’ over his life and she was now coming to see me to find ways for him to deal with his anxiety. What I asked her next became a game changer for her. I asked,   What about your anxiety?   Dixie’s mouth opened in a big O. I could tell she was trying to grasp what I was asking her because she said, shaking her head, “No, it’s not about me, it’s about him!”   Once again, I turned her attention back to