Life Purpose

/Life Purpose

HOW TO OVERCOME OUR FEAR OF SILENCE

Our fear of silence is a learnt behaviour, which can be unlearned.   You enter a conference room where everyone is taking their seat in silence. How do you feel about the quietness in the room?   Do you secretly worry about why no one is talking?   Nervously laughing, do you make a joke to lighten up the mood?   How about emotionally zoning out while waiting for someone to speak?   Maybe even anxiously scrolling through your Instagram account while waiting for the meeting to start?   What do you do when you are meeting with silence?     For many of us, utter quietness can be uncomfortable.   According to Larry D. Rosen’s research spanning over six years and observing 580 undergraduate students, he found out that their struggle with silence is a learnt behaviour.   Our fear of silence is a learnt behaviour.     Let’s see

HOW TO GRACEFULLY GIVE FEEDBACK

“Communication is an ongoing feedback loop between a spectator and a ringmaster.”   Sitting front row, the little girl’s eyes were looking at the ringmaster. Like a maestro directing a great performance, the ringmaster was standing centre stage.     Much was happening in the background for she heard the sound of drums, trumpets, and flamethrowers galore.     Smiling, she was mesmerized with the show taking place in front of her.     Like a child living in the present moment, she laughed when the ringmaster made a funny joke, and she was genuinely curious when the ringmaster asked the audience a question.     She knew in her heart that she was watching a great performance by the very best.     She was a willing participant, an observer to all that was happening in front of her.     Because this little girl understood her role of

THE SECRET TO SETTING AND UPHOLDING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

When Suzy* first came to see me, she was feeling torn between her desire to feel loved by her mother and her need to have healthy boundaries. She told me that she was sick and tired of feeling miserable, and that was why she was coming to see me. Suzy wanted to know how to feel good about herself while having a healthy relationship with her mother. Can you relate?   I asked Suzy what she did for a living and she told me that she worked in the elderly care industry. She said she didn’t like her work. When I asked her what made her keep a job she disliked, she said, “My mom! She thinks I should keep it because the pay is steady!”   You might think I was having a conversation with a young adult butting heads with her mother. But Suzy was a middle-aged woman

HOW TO HEAL FROM A PARENT UNAWARE OF THEIR ADDICTION

“You’re just like your father!” “What is wrong with you?” are some examples of what a parent might say because of their addiction to limiting beliefs.   When we think of the word addiction, many of us believe an addiction refers to alcohol, sex, drugs, and gambling.  If we hold that belief as true, it becomes very easy to claim “Others have addictions! Not me!” However ...   Let's dig a little bit deeper.   For example ... Is it true that some people find it difficult to say no? Having difficulty saying no is a form of addiction. And is it true that some people care too much about that others might think of them? Constantly seeking external approval is a form of addition.   So you see, addictions refer to more than just sex, drugs, gambling, and rock & roll.   You now might be wondering ... What is an addiction?  

THE ANTIDOTE TO EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABILITY

An emotionally unavailable person behaves like someone infected with a contagious disease. It affects all of us.   Being present is the antidote to emotional unavailability.   Many of us love to think we are emotionally available, but looking at the characteristics listed below, to what extent are we being present when it comes to ….     Listening Deeply There are four levels of listening.   Cosmetic listening (level 1): It looks like we are listening, but our mind is actually somewhere else. Conversational listening (level 2): We seem engaged in the conversation, listening, talking, listening, talking, but our mind is looking for ways to rebut or judge. In level 2, we are listening to prove ourselves right. Active listening (level 3): The focus is on what the other person is saying. We are recording facts and paying attention to body language as we assess the alignment of words,

THE FIVE KEYS TO IGNITING YOUR PASSION AND CLOSE MORE SALES

Passion is infectious across sales teams and to customers.  Result: more sales closed.   When Claude* came to see me, she believed that if she tried ‘hard’ enough and kept working till she dropped exhausted every night, then she ‘knew’ what passion was and was therefore ‘living’ it.   But when I asked her how this ‘passion’ of hers was showing up in her business results, she shyly confessed she was struggling at bringing new customers in. She even said she had been living from pay cheque to pay cheque lately. This told me how Claude had done what so many of us do, falsely equate passion with sheer will.   Through my talking with her, I found out Claude was considering skipping ship; she was considering moving to a competitor of her current employer. When asked why, she said she felt like she wasn’t growing as a person and

THREE WAYS YOU ARE ALREADY CREATIVE AND DID NOT KNOW IT

“I want to be creative!” blurted Mark* when he came to see me. Mark is a professional in his early thirties who feels there is more life than just sitting at a desk drawing rows and columns of numbers for his boss. When I replied that he is indeed creative, he looked at me, mouth open.   Like many other professionals perhaps, Mark had not realized yet how his level of critical thinking marries well with his creativity. I understand… like many of us, he had been taught from a young age that logic and creativity apparently make poor bed fellows. But is true? Is it always true that critical thinking and creativity can never rally for the same cause?   Let’s find out…   When it comes to….   #1: PROPORTIONALITY The great painter Leonardo Da Vinci and other Renaissance masters are known to have used the mathematical ratio

HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’    On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.   Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is

HOW TO OVERCOME SHINY OBJECT SYNDROME

When Janie came to see me, she smiled an easy smile and quickly answered “I’m fine!” to the question ‘How are you?’ I watched her as she fidgeted onto her seat, obviously trying to find a comfortable position. She finally sat down after putting a nearby colourful cushion in front of her tummy. This gesture alone told me a lot about Janie, how she most likely was living her life hiding in the background while hanging on to shiny objects for dear life.   Through my talking with her, I found out she has spent years studying for a profession she says she is now hating. She said she felt tired and drained, her bosses apparently not caring about what happened to her or how she felt.     Have you ever been in a situation where you felt unseen and unheard?   After her work shift, Janie confessed she

HOW DO WE KNOW WE ARE TRULY SEEKING WHAT WE DESERVE

Have you ever walked by a supermarket check-out and seen packets of gardening flower seeds for sale? When I was a small child, I did, quite often, and I found the flower pictures on flower seeds packets wonderful to look at. I did not know the flowers’ names, the kind of soil they needed, or the kind of care they required. What fascinated me most was the sheer amount of flower varieties, all of them within the grasp of the gardener enthusiast!   My mother often found me contemplating these packets of flower seeds, standing in front of them with my mouth open and my eyes big. Gently touching the pictures on the packets with the tip of my small fingers, I wanted to know if their petals were velvet soft and their fragrance sweet. I even thought of taking a bite from the grown flowers to see if they tasted

Bittersweet
Chanan
Kheirions Hat
Pots and Lids
The Blue Zipper
The Dirty Money
The Man Who Found A Mirror
The Purple Glove
Get your chance to win one of Anne's wildly popular ebooks!
Enter your email address and spin the wheel. This is your chance to win one of the eBooks from The Emotionally Intelligent Way Series!
Our in-house rules:
  • One game per user
If you’re ready to make real progress and experience richness in life, sign up for my updates and a free copy of How to Get Your Customers to Know You, Like You, and Trust You – Closing more sales by genuinely bonding customers to you.
×