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HOW TO DEAL WITH AN EMOTIONALLY SICK PARENT

I didn’t ask myself ‘Is she emotionally sick?’ I was eight years old and like many other kids, I just wanted to go play outside and make sure I had a clean pair of pants to wear to go to school the next day. Plus, what does ‘emotionally’ even mean to a kid?   I didn’t even ask if she was sick. I mean, she looked fine on the surface.  She could walk and talk, though she said and did things that even I found strange by moments. Like that time she put my hands on her tummy and told me she had a baby inside. She said she was the Virgin Mary and she was going to give birth to the child of Jesus Christ. As strange as she sounded and behaved at times, my mother was not running a fever or having a drippy nose.   When I

HOW TO FEEL YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

I couldn’t believe he had done it again. I was so angry that I didn’t even take the time to ask myself what could be wrong with him. Instead, I marched right over where he was, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and threw him unmercifully on the cold concrete of the back patio. This was the nth time that day that the kids’ puppy, Snowy, had pooped in the living room. I had enough!   I watched him as he pawed the glass door, crying to be let back in. I yelled at him to go pee and poop as if a four month old puppy could have complete control over its bodily functions. He looked at me with pleading eyes. I pretended not to care and told him in a stern voice to go do his business or stay outside, his choice.   Snowy was a

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WITH INTEGRITY

When Sally* came to see me, she was finding herself in quite the pickle jam. Her relationship with her husband was at such a level that she had jumped the fence and committed adultery. She said she felt horrible about what she had just done. She told me adultery felt yucky to her and that she never wanted to put herself in that situation again. She made it clear to me she needed my coaching assistance because she wanted to be able to live with herself again. Listening to her, I saw how Sally seemed like a decent person who wanted to live in integrity.   Through my talking with her, I found out her relationship with her life partner had been deteriorating for years. She said that when she wanted to talk to him about their relationship, he either got angry saying it was ‘all’ her fault or he

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS PREVENTS MORE CLOSED SALES

Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. Ever been in that situation?   They had thought about it long and hard. They knew in their heart they wanted that gift more than anything else. Apparently, they were this clear. Sometimes, such is the case for us, right?   One day, like many of us do, they walk up to their loved one and say with sparkling eyes, “I know what I want for my birthday.”   Perhaps preoccupied with other things, their loved one casually replies, “Oh! You do? Great! What is it?”   Taking a deep breath, this person affirms with conviction, “I want …” and, like perhaps you and me, awaits for reciprocity in kind.   Now imagine this person’s surprise when their counterpart utters, “No,

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS IS KILLING YOUR SALES

When Jack* came to see me, I noticed right away how super groomed he was. His beard was trimmed impeccably. His light blue shirt, fitting and ironed crisp, was tightly hugging muscles that must have spent a lot of time at the gym working out. Even his nails were nicely buffed and trimmed. Asking him how I may serve him, he said he knew what he wanted and what he had to do to get it. If such was indeed the case, why seek my assistance?   Through my talking with him, I found out Jack was a district manager catering to quite a few well-known franchised establishments throughout his city and beyond. Part of his job was to ensure uniformity of products and services under a specific brand. He said the hours were long, but the pay was really good. So, what was the problem?   Jack confessed he

HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’    On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.   Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is

HOW TO OVERCOME SHINY OBJECT SYNDROME

When Janie came to see me, she smiled an easy smile and quickly answered “I’m fine!” to the question ‘How are you?’ I watched her as she fidgeted onto her seat, obviously trying to find a comfortable position. She finally sat down after putting a nearby colourful cushion in front of her tummy. This gesture alone told me a lot about Janie, how she most likely was living her life hiding in the background while hanging on to shiny objects for dear life.   Through my talking with her, I found out she has spent years studying for a profession she says she is now hating. She said she felt tired and drained, her bosses apparently not caring about what happened to her or how she felt.     Have you ever been in a situation where you felt unseen and unheard?   After her work shift, Janie confessed she

HOW DO WE KNOW WE ARE TRULY SEEKING WHAT WE DESERVE

Have you ever walked by a supermarket check-out and seen packets of gardening flower seeds for sale? When I was a small child, I did, quite often, and I found the flower pictures on flower seeds packets wonderful to look at. I did not know the flowers’ names, the kind of soil they needed, or the kind of care they required. What fascinated me most was the sheer amount of flower varieties, all of them within the grasp of the gardener enthusiast!   My mother often found me contemplating these packets of flower seeds, standing in front of them with my mouth open and my eyes big. Gently touching the pictures on the packets with the tip of my small fingers, I wanted to know if their petals were velvet soft and their fragrance sweet. I even thought of taking a bite from the grown flowers to see if they tasted

WHO DO YOU CALL TO ADDRESS EMOTIONAL LEAKS? 

Have you ever experienced a gushing water leak in your home? Where was it? Was it underneath the kitchen sink? Was it in the basement where water pipes tend to run hidden in the dark? What did it cost you to repair this leak?   In 2001, I bought a showroom townhouse. It had many upgrades like granite countertops, wooden kitchen cabinets, and so on. I loved this house house very much, it looked great on the surface… until the day I had my first water leak.    The day it happened, I did not know where the water valve was, so I ran panicking to my next door neighbour. He calmly came over, turned the water valve off, and told me to call a plumber. I had never had to call a plumber before and it made me feel deeply anxious and stressed out. Ever been in that situation?

IS LINKEDIN BECOMING THE NEW TINDER?

Have you ever received a message from one of your LinkedIn contacts? In that moment, where were you physically? Were you at the office sitting at your desk? Were you standing at home with your toddler in your arms? Perhaps your spouse or teenager walked into the room as you were checking your messages? Keep these scenarios in mind as you read on…   One of my LinkedIn contacts, S. D., sent me a message in which he shared how his mother had recently died. He said he was ‘feeling lost’ and needed ‘empathy’. Since we all go through turbulent moments sometimes, I messaged him with words I trust are compassionate. I received the following response from him, “this is what I meant by empathy in message. sorry im not happy doing this or when I'm not doing this. please have empathy. thanks”.    To assist you in getting what