Tolerance

/Tolerance

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WITH INTEGRITY

When Sally* came to see me, she was finding herself in quite the pickle jam. Her relationship with her husband was at such a level that she had jumped the fence and committed adultery. She said she felt horrible about what she had just done. She told me adultery felt yucky to her and that she never wanted to put herself in that situation again. She made it clear to me she needed my coaching assistance because she wanted to be able to live with herself again. Listening to her, I saw how Sally seemed like a decent person who wanted to live in integrity.   Through my talking with her, I found out her relationship with her life partner had been deteriorating for years. She said that when she wanted to talk to him about their relationship, he either got angry saying it was ‘all’ her fault or he

HOW TO STRAY FROM ANXIETY TO LIVE FROM A PLACE OF WELL-BEING

  When Dixie* came to see me, her hands trembled a little as she talked about her husband’s anxiety. She shared how he apparently often sat in their apartment’s living room feeling overwhelmed, his eyes sort of absent, all because he seemed not to know what to do next. Dixie continued by saying she was getting fed up with her husband’s perceived inability to ‘get a grip’ over his life and she was now coming to see me to find ways for him to deal with his anxiety. What I asked her next became a game changer for her. I asked,   What about your anxiety?   Dixie’s mouth opened in a big O. I could tell she was trying to grasp what I was asking her because she said, shaking her head, “No, it’s not about me, it’s about him!”   Once again, I turned her attention back to

HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’    On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.   Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is

WHO DO YOU CALL TO ADDRESS EMOTIONAL LEAKS? 

Have you ever experienced a gushing water leak in your home? Where was it? Was it underneath the kitchen sink? Was it in the basement where water pipes tend to run hidden in the dark? What did it cost you to repair this leak?   In 2001, I bought a showroom townhouse. It had many upgrades like granite countertops, wooden kitchen cabinets, and so on. I loved this house house very much, it looked great on the surface… until the day I had my first water leak.    The day it happened, I did not know where the water valve was, so I ran panicking to my next door neighbour. He calmly came over, turned the water valve off, and told me to call a plumber. I had never had to call a plumber before and it made me feel deeply anxious and stressed out. Ever been in that situation?

ROUND AND ROUND

ROUND AND ROUND   Round and round We go again On the merry-go-round of life. Ups and downs, We think that’s life Until we get off our mount.   Round and round We go again On the merry-go-round of life. Laughter and tears We think we’re here Until we go deep within.   In and in We go again On the merry-go-round of life, Darkness and light Fuse into one Until we go round and round.   With love & compassion, Anne   What makes any of us go round and round in circles?   www.walkinginside.com www.fullmontyleadership.com

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?   Am I willing to go beyond the stars Where you and I were born Where the sun befriends the moon Where rainbows bridge us all?   Am I willing to go further than the eye can see Where trees plant their roots Where flowers drop their seeds Where leaves take in the colours of seasons?   Am I willing to go deeper than the ocean floor Where all the river beds make one Where the illusion of division is triumphed over Where we all feel as one?   How far am I willing to go?   I am willing to go At the centre of myself Where I hear it all begins The point of origin That unites us all.   I am willing to go Where ‘broken’ lines disappear Where there is no you or me Where there is only a

I USED TO THINK

I USED TO THINK   I used to think A tree was just a tree I saw it with my own mind Roots, trunk, branches, leaves.   I used to think You were different than me I saw it with my own mind Bodies, fences, judgement, fear.   Thanks to my mentor, I met me For a moment, I stopped thinking, In stillness, my mind cracked open Discovering sunshine cooling breeze within.   How refreshing To hear inside the giggles of a small child Who never thought we were separate Who's always known we all belong.   Because of my love for this child and me The lines in my mind are becoming blurry If there is nothing separating you from me Then, who am I? What are we?   Willing to know, I ask her to show me the way How I may serve her from a place of

WHERE IS THE LINE BETWEEN A COMPLIMENT AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

“It wasn’t my intention!” he said, both hands up in the air as if to show me his intentions had been non-sexual all the way and I apparently was the one misunderstanding. Does this scenario look familiar to you?    Let me share with you this story…   About ten years ago, I met a beautiful woman called Amanda*. Both our young daughters were taking swimming lessons together. As is often the case in these situations, our girls developed a friendship and started having sleep-overs at each other’s place.   My daughter loved going over at their house. They had a big swimming pool surrounded by sofas, parasols, and two gigantic BBQ that seem to 'constantly' be cooking something, maybe because Amanda kept throwing popular pool parties with food and booze galore.   Amanda’s husband was a savvy businessman. She often said she felt blessed being married to him. Looking

HOW DO WE KNOW FOR CERTAIN SANE IS SANE?

Have you ever questioned your sanity or the sanity of someone else? Not in a way going “Ha, ha, that was crazy!” but rather in a deeper way perhaps, when things just didn’t quite seem to add up, and you were left doubting yourself like, “Am I out of my mind? This does not make sense!”   When I was young, I saw my mother literally go crazy. She was mentally ill and, during one of her latest psychotic episodes, she believed she was the Immaculate Conception pregnant with Jesus Christ. When confronted with the fact she did not have a uterus to conceive children (it got removed after the birth of her 6th child), she said it did not matter because the Holy Spirit was 'the father'.   Watching my mother physically resist my father before the medics took her away was traumatizing for me. I knew that, once

WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?

Have you ever wondered what makes us human? Me too... especially in light of what happened on Sunday morning…   Last Sunday morning, I decided to stop by my favourite coffee shop before going on my walk. Looking at the burgeoning trees and blooming flowers around me, it is easy to imagine spring is here.   As I enter the shop, I sense something amiss. Maybe because the first pair of eyes who greet me, those of the barista, they look distressed? She is squinting badly and a frown line is crossing her forehead horizontally.   Perhaps the object of her concern is what is going on at a specific table? There, sobbing massively, with big heaving hiccups coming out of her, is one of the homeless women I often encounter on my daily walks. I have known her for about three years now. Though she always seems to remember