Trust

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HOW TO INTERACT FROM A PLACE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

While attending a seminar, I was once asked, “How many of you would like to feel more self-confident at work and at home? Raise your hand.” As I looked around the room with my hand raised high, I noticed most people (if not everybody) had their hand up. This showed me how self-confidence is a hot commodity that everyone seems to want more of.   If that is true …   What makes self-confidence so elusive to get?   I believe the answer is, because we have misconceptions as to what self-confidence truly is.   Allow me to explain ....   Is self-confidence arrogance? Knowing that arrogance is that feeling we get when we think we are ‘better’ than someone else, is it any wonder the know-it-all (what I used to be) are actually deemed to have low self-confidence due to a lack of self-worth (loving self no matter what

TEN EMPOWERING TIPS RESTORING SELF-WORTH IN CASE OF PHYSICAL ABUSE

    “Telling a child who is physically abused to feel their self-worth intact while the abuse is going on is like telling an adult not to scratch their car when hitting a telephone pole full blast.” ~ Anne Beaulieu   …..   “I remember the day as if it were yesterday. My father had come in angry from work and he was looking for a reason to let off some steam. My mother was in a frenzy because she couldn’t find one of her contraceptive pills. What she didn’t know was that I had taken the pill out of its packet. I was seven years old and didn’t know any different. I thought the pill was candy, but when I tried to lick it, I realized it tasted bitter and I threw it away, falsely thinking my mother would never notice. But she did.   She walked up to

HOW TO GET YOUR CUSTOMER TO KNOW YOU, LIKE YOU, AND TRUST YOU 

When Levy* (fictitious name) came to see me, he quietly walked into the room. He chose a seat far away from me. He sat in the chair, his back straight, his hands firmly crossed in front of him. When I asked him how he was, he answered, “Good.” Asked if he would like a warm cup of tea, he said “no” then he quickly glanced at his watch as if he suddenly had an appointment somewhere else. Taking in Levy’s behaviours, I knew what I needed to do to make him feel I am trustworthy of having him as a client.   Through my talking with him, I found out his father criticized him a lot, often telling him he wasn’t good enough. He said his family was very much money-oriented, with success determined on how much money each member made and saved. Laughing nervously, he said the bigger the

HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TEENAGER

“Do you wanna know why I am the way I am?” My fifteen year old daughter screamed at me one evening. Frozen on the spot, mouth open, I was unsure if I really wanted to hear her answer. Somewhere in my head, I believed she was ‘just’ another angry teenager who was about to unleash her wrath one more time.   Tears rolling down her face, she wiped them swiftly with the back of her hand. “I’m the way I am because of you! You’re such a hypocrite! You pretend you care, but you don’t! Want me to prove it to you again? What did I just say before what I just said?”   She had me again and she knew it. I went deeper inside my head to remember what she had just said prior to her rant, and my mind drew a blank. I looked at her, moving

FIVE KEYS TO TAP INTO YOUR HIDDEN CREATIVITY

When George* came to see me, he said he felt caught between two masters, his career and his passion. Can you relate?   Asked why his career wasn’t his passion, George said his job as a business manager for a high-end establishment paid super well though the hours were long and his clientage was hard to deal with sometimes. As for what he believed was his true passion, he said he had put it on the back burner (for many years) because he thought he was ‘out of’ creative ideas and had ‘exhausted’ all his resources. Listening to him talk, it was clear to me George had failed to tap into his hidden creativity.   Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you could do much better?   After his work shift, George confessed he often went out. He said he needed to unwind at night

THE FIVE KEYS TO IGNITING YOUR PASSION AND CLOSE MORE SALES

Passion is infectious across sales teams and to customers.  Result: more sales closed.   When Claude* came to see me, she believed that if she tried ‘hard’ enough and kept working till she dropped exhausted every night, then she ‘knew’ what passion was and was therefore ‘living’ it.   But when I asked her how this ‘passion’ of hers was showing up in her business results, she shyly confessed she was struggling at bringing new customers in. She even said she had been living from pay cheque to pay cheque lately. This told me how Claude had done what so many of us do, falsely equate passion with sheer will.   Through my talking with her, I found out Claude was considering skipping ship; she was considering moving to a competitor of her current employer. When asked why, she said she felt like she wasn’t growing as a person and

WHY KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CUSTOMER NEEDS PREVENTS MORE CLOSED SALES

Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. Ever been in that situation?   They had thought about it long and hard. They knew in their heart they wanted that gift more than anything else. Apparently, they were this clear. Sometimes, such is the case for us, right?   One day, like many of us do, they walk up to their loved one and say with sparkling eyes, “I know what I want for my birthday.”   Perhaps preoccupied with other things, their loved one casually replies, “Oh! You do? Great! What is it?”   Taking a deep breath, this person affirms with conviction, “I want …” and, like perhaps you and me, awaits for reciprocity in kind.   Now imagine this person’s surprise when their counterpart utters, “No,

HOW TO TELL BETWEEN SADNESS AND DEPRESSION

  I was sitting under a tree. It was early morning and the area was deserted at this time of day. It suited me just fine, this isolation, because I now felt safe enough to let tears run down my cheeks. I was feeling sad inside and this so-called sadness seemed to have swallowed my entire life. Touching a tree root with my left hand, I begged it to help me move forward, to give me energy, for I felt tired, wary, drained.   This tree where I hid from the world was located in a kids’ park of all places. To my left were swings with sky blue seats. In front of me were earth brown curvy slides. To my right was this kind of roped knitted dome where little ones exercised their climbing skills.   A little boy accompanied by an adult comes running into the park. He

THREE WAYS IGNORING YOUR CREATIVITY IS BLOCKING YOUR DREAM JOB

When Joy* came to see me, she was dressed in black from head to toe, not because she found that colour trendy, but because, as she said, she thought it camouflaged her body fat. Looking at the ground as she said these words, she retreated deeply into her seat. This behaviour of hers told me a lot about Joy, how her life seemed to lack the vibrant colours of creativity.    Through my talking with her, I found out she did not like her job and wanted a new position because she felt unseen and unheard by upper management. When she wrote her boss yet another memo about an ongoing problem in her division, she claimed her words landed on deaf ears. Ever been in that situation?   When I asked her if she had provided her boss with a viable solution to this ongoing problem, she quietly said no,

HOW TO STRAY FROM ANXIETY TO LIVE FROM A PLACE OF WELL-BEING

  When Dixie* came to see me, her hands trembled a little as she talked about her husband’s anxiety. She shared how he apparently often sat in their apartment’s living room feeling overwhelmed, his eyes sort of absent, all because he seemed not to know what to do next. Dixie continued by saying she was getting fed up with her husband’s perceived inability to ‘get a grip’ over his life and she was now coming to see me to find ways for him to deal with his anxiety. What I asked her next became a game changer for her. I asked,   What about your anxiety?   Dixie’s mouth opened in a big O. I could tell she was trying to grasp what I was asking her because she said, shaking her head, “No, it’s not about me, it’s about him!”   Once again, I turned her attention back to

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