"Show responsibility!  This is all your fault!” I said to my 16-year-old son who had just come home with a zero on a school paper he had handed in late. Showing very little compassion, I pointed my index finger to his face to justify the anger and shame I was feeling inside. “How could you let that happen?” I insisted.   While my parenting tantrum was taking place, my son kept looking outside the kitchen window, verbally acknowledging zero of my questions. Mostly, he remained silent, probably waiting for the storm to boil over. His behaviour showed how I had trained him to ignore his own feelings and emotions and the feelings and emotions of others. He was behaving as I had taught him: like a victim.   ‘How was that possible?’ you might ask.   It is my belief …   When a parent is unaware of their conditioning and


When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’    On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.   Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is


When Janie came to see me, she smiled an easy smile and quickly answered “I’m fine!” to the question ‘How are you?’ I watched her as she fidgeted onto her seat, obviously trying to find a comfortable position. She finally sat down after putting a nearby colourful cushion in front of her tummy. This gesture alone told me a lot about Janie, how she most likely was living her life hiding in the background while hanging on to shiny objects for dear life.   Through my talking with her, I found out she has spent years studying for a profession she says she is now hating. She said she felt tired and drained, her bosses apparently not caring about what happened to her or how she felt.     Have you ever been in a situation where you felt unseen and unheard?   After her work shift, Janie confessed she


Have you ever experienced a gushing water leak in your home? Where was it? Was it underneath the kitchen sink? Was it in the basement where water pipes tend to run hidden in the dark? What did it cost you to repair this leak?   In 2001, I bought a showroom townhouse. It had many upgrades like granite countertops, wooden kitchen cabinets, and so on. I loved this house house very much, it looked great on the surface… until the day I had my first water leak.    The day it happened, I did not know where the water valve was, so I ran panicking to my next door neighbour. He calmly came over, turned the water valve off, and told me to call a plumber. I had never had to call a plumber before and it made me feel deeply anxious and stressed out. Ever been in that situation?


ROUND AND ROUND   Round and round We go again On the merry-go-round of life. Ups and downs, We think that’s life Until we get off our mount.   Round and round We go again On the merry-go-round of life. Laughter and tears We think we’re here Until we go deep within.   In and in We go again On the merry-go-round of life, Darkness and light Fuse into one Until we go round and round.   With love & compassion, Anne   What makes any of us go round and round in circles?


AWAKENING   I awoke in the middle of the night, Frightened and scared, Thinking I was alone. I looked around the bedroom, Stillness and shadows greeting me. What an unfamiliar sight, I thought to myself, To be alone with one’s thoughts, To be shyly greeting one’s feelings.   Out of habit, I called out a name, Thinking you would come, But the echo came back empty. I did not yet understand, Love is neither a name or a game, It is a flowing feeling, Like waves, rising and falling, Amidst our own waters.   Thinking I knew better, I turned my bed into a raft, I paddled day and night, Still hoping to find you, Afloat on another raft nearby.   Feeling more lost than ever, I finally stopped doing this crazy thing, And started instead to Listen to the wind Who has always known my name.   It said,


What if I were to tell you that taking responsibility has nothing to do with shaming or guilt tripping, what would you answer to that? If you are like the old me, you might answer something like: “That’s horse shit!” “Of course taking responsibility comes with shame and guilt! How else do you expect anyone to become responsible if they do not feel wrath?”   But is it true?      Just so we are on the same page here, I believe   TAKING RESPONSIBILITY means to ACKNOWLEDGE the CHOICES we have MADE and ACCEPTING THE RESULTS we currently have.     The CHOICES we have made, being: -> The words we spoke -> The actions we took -> The words we refused to speak -> The actions we refused to take     The RESULTS we currently have, being: -> what we currently perceive as good, bad, or ugly in


"What if Procrastination is the “rogue” child born from a wild night between Perfection and Fear of Rejection? What happened to Burning Desire?"  I posed this question one week ago.   Some of you might have read it and think, “WTF! I don’t get it… This is a waste of my time!”    Others might have been happier, like,  “LOL, these three things are linked together? Fascinating!”   And then… there might have been some of you who go digging deeper for the truth within themselves.  It is these people, like you and me, I am addressing right now.   So, pull up a chair, grab a slice of pi, and take a moment to ponder the following,   What is Procrastination?   To me, Procrastination is Ongoing Avoidance.  We procrastinate when we keep avoiding doing something that has or needs to be done in this moment.     What

How to Make Peace With the Procrastinator in You

  'Are you a procrastinator?' When asked this question, I used to flatly answer no while looking at my interlocutor with the strong desire to smack their head. I found the question insulting. For me, a procrastinator was pretty much a lazy bum, someone who sat on the couch eating potato chips while watching reruns of a long ago past. This kind of procrastinator, they munched of others while waiting to be rescued/saved. Know anyone like that? When this type of person showed up in my life, I resented them. My back went up. They were an energy drain, a headache, an insomnia, a heart squeezer. I had little respect for them. Around them, I felt angry, stuck, and confused. I switched to high gear and performed like a monkey on crack as if to compensate for their lack of clear direction in their life. Let’s stop for a moment.

By | February 15th, 2016|Awareness, Leadership, procrastination|0 Comments
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