Thinking we know exactly what our customer needs does NOT work.

Here’s why.


Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching, and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. They had thought about it long and hard and knew in their heart that they wanted that gift more than anything else. Lo and behold, they were that clear.


One day, they walk up to their loved one and declared with great enthusiasm, “I know exactly what I want for my birthday!”


Looking up from the newspaper they were reading at the kitchen table, the other person casually replies, “Oh! You do? What is it?”


The soon-to-be birthday king/queen excitedly shares what they want as a gift, and then wait for reciprocity in kind to occur. Imagine their surprise when the other person puts down their newspaper and solemnly declares, “No, you don’t need that. Choose something else.” 


Let me ask you …


Have you ever been in a situation where someone assumed they knew exactly what you needed?


How did you feel in that moment?


I have been in that situation multiple times in the past, and it sucked.


With that in mind,


Thinking that we know exactly what our customer needs does NOT work.


According to Marketing Donut, a marketing think tank based in the United Kingdom,

“Anyone who believes they can go into a sales situation armed with ‘101 sure fire sales closes’ and make sales is seriously misinformed – and about 20 years behind the times. Professional sales people get to know their prospects; understand their issues; solve their prospect’s problems; and provide irrefutable proof. They build relationships and trust by engaging in ongoing dialogue.”



To discover what our customer needs, we need to build a moment of RAPPORT.


A moment of rapport happens when both parties drop down their guard and emotionally relate to what the other person is conveying.


An emotionally intelligent salesperson understands this. They get that … we bond over our needs. What this means is, we buy things for the feeling we want to experience with that thing.


If we can get our customer to share the feeling they want to experience from buying a product,

and we connect that feeling with our product, THAT’S A SALE!




To avoid making the common mistake of thinking you know exactly what your customer needs, here’s my tip for you:


  • Become genuinely curious. Never assume anything. The most powerful question I ask my clients as an Emotional Intelligence coach is, “What does that mean to you?” Every time a customer shares something with you, ask that question because it will lead you and your customer to discover what feeling they want to experience by buying a certain product. Then you job, as the great salesperson that you are, is to connect that feeling with your product. and the only way that’s going to happen is if you have the emotional Intelligence to get your customer to emotionally open up to you.



In light of this …


What do you believe is your greatest challenge?


I trust you have found value in this article. To learn how to better emotionally connect with your customers, contact me at

I am happy to assist you in any way that I can.

Your EQ Coach,



For those of you who would like to know more about Marketing Donut’s study, here is the link to their article: