When Paul* (name changed) first came to see me, he walked into my office and chose a seat far away from me. He sat with his back up against the chair and with his hands firmly crossed in his lap.
“How are you?” I asked, and he nervously replied, “Good.”
I offered him a warm cup of tea. Paul glanced at his watch and declined that offer.
Wanting to build rapport, I openly shared with him how awkward I felt the first time I walked into the office of someone I didn’t know. Paul smiled and his eyes twinkled; he said he knew the feeling.
To get to the sale multiple times,
we must build rapport through reciprocal vulnerability.
I started asking questions, such as: “Where are you from?” and “Where’s your family now?”
Upon hearing the word family, Paul clasped his hands tighter together. It seemed that family was a touchy subject for him.
“What’s one thing your family values?” I inquired.
With a tight smile, Paul replied that his family was very much about money.
“What does that mean to you?”
Looking sad, Paul told me that success was determined by how much money each family member had in their bank account.
I empathized. “It sucks. Growing up, I saw my parents constantly fight over money. If they had it, they fought about how to spend it. And if they didn’t have it, they fought about how to get more. Anyone with or without money was criticized. I was screwed from the start,” I added, laughing.
Paul chuckled and started relaxing; he unclasped his hands and leaned forward towards me. We had found one common ground.
I seized that opportunity to ask, “How can I assist you?”
After a long pause, Paul answered, “I’m not sure.”
“I can relate to that too. It can be a scary place. What is it that you’re not sure about right now?”
Paul cleared his throat. He told me that he had been married for many years, and that he and his wife were trying to have a baby, but it wasn’t working, and the in-vitro trials were proving very hard emotionally on him and his wife.
Because every in-vitro attempt also cost thousands of dollars, Paul was feeling the financial pressure of starting a family and living up to the financial standards of his birth family. He felt screwed from the start. Another point I validated with him.
Feeling I understood him, Paul became my client. I closed that sale. I coached him for one year, practically every week.
To get to the sale multiple times, it requires a moment of rapport, a moment where both parties drop down their guard and share from a place of reciprocal vulnerability.
Here are four (4) rock solid tips to assist you getting to the sale multiple times:
Give your client your undivided attention. When building rapport, refrain from shuffling papers, picking up a call, or thinking about dinner. Stop focusing on the outside world and give your undivided attention to your client. When we feel genuinely seen and heard, we most likely want to share what makes us happy and might be troubling our heart.
Validate your client’s feelings. Recognize your client’s feelings without judgment, and then add one more sentence that validates specifically what they just said.
Take nothing personal. Remain genuinely open to discover your client, what they really want and what they really need. Ask emotionally intelligent questions.
Show compassion. Take the time to feel what it’s like to walk in their shoes. Feel their pain points and partake in their moments of joys. Seek to alleviate their pain by providing what they need over and over again.
Now imagine that somebody has just read these tips…
What do you believe will be their greatest challenge?
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who assists her clients in building genuine rapport with the people they are here to serve. Connect with me at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us/
Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,
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