“You’re just like your father!” “What is wrong with you?” are some examples of what a parent might say because of their addiction to limiting beliefs.
When we think of the word addiction, many of us believe an addiction refers to alcohol, sex, drugs, and gambling. If we hold that belief as true, it becomes very easy to claim “Others have addictions! Not me!” However …
Let’s dig a little bit deeper.
For example … Is it true that some people find it difficult to say no? Having difficulty saying no is a form of addiction. And is it true that some people care too much about that others might think of them? Constantly seeking external approval is a form of addition.
So you see, addictions refer to more than just sex, drugs, gambling, and rock & roll.
You now might be wondering …
What is an addiction?
I believe the answer is,
An addiction is anything that is consistently detrimental to the human spirit.
If that is true …
What are some of the addictions a parent may (un)knowingly pass onto their child?
#Addiction to shaming
Shaming is about making a whole person wrong instead of making a specific behaviour wrong. Shaming aims to make another feel small, inadequate, and non-existent.
Examples: “You’re just like your father/mother!” “You’re treating me like this after everything I’ve done for you?” “Who the hell do you think you are?”
#Addiction to blaming
Blaming is about making another feel responsible for our own lack of accountability in a situation. Blaming aims to make the blame receiver falsely feel fully responsible for the blamer’s state of happiness.
Examples: “It’s all your fault!” “I would have been happy if I had never lost that job, divorced, gotten sick, etc.”
#Addiction to guilt-tripping
Guilt-tripping is about controlling the odds by crippling another’s mental health. Guilt-tripping aims to negatively manipulate another’s feelings and emotions in order to achieve a desired outcome.
Examples: “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” “Say you’ll love me forever!” “You know you’ll always be daddy’s little girl!”
#Addiction to disempowerment
Disempowerment is about making another believe they have zero control or choice over their own life. Disempowerment aims to make a person falsely believe they are always a slave to other people’s moods and circumstances.
Examples: “You owe me!” “You’re nothing without me!” “You’re my everything!”
#Addiction to non-trust
Non-trust is often sold as self-preservation at all costs. Non-trust aims to isolate a person by pitching them against the whole world.
Examples: “The world’s a bad place!” “Can never rely on anyone!” “Never show weakness!” “It’s everyone for themselves!”
#Addiction to rage
Rage is about feeling a deep-seated unprocessed anger over a long period of time. Rage uses mostly blaming, shaming, and guilt-tripping in order to destroy a person’s sense of self-worth.
Examples: “You can go f*** yourself!” “Who do you think you are?” “You’re gonna pay for this!” “Someone’s gonna get it!”
#Addiction to feeling inferior
Low self-worth is about shaming one’s existence for who we are, what we want, what we need, and how we behave. Low self-worth aims to prove that we are “right” believing our limiting beliefs.
Examples: “How could I ever do that?!” “I’ll never be able to!” “There’s gotta be something wrong with me!”
#Addiction to wanting to be right
Wanting to be right is about believing we have all the right answers and we know with 100% certainty the ‘right’ course of action every single time through the whole course of eternity. Shocking, eh? Wanting to be right aims at showing others that we are “superior” in our thinking, behaving, being.
Examples: “Of course I’m always right!” “I’m older than you, so I know better!” “ “I’m your mother! That’s why!”
#Addiction to seeking external approval
Seeking external approval is about lacking discernment (this ability to deeply know what we need). Seeking external approval aims to shut down our feelings and emotions in order to get validation from others.
Examples: “You love me, right?” “Tell me what to do for you to love me!”
#Addiction to non-assertiveness
Non-assertiveness is about behaving like a doormat because we might be afraid to offend or displease another. Non-assertiveness aims at seeking loving approval from another, except ourselves.
Examples: “I’m fine with whatever you guys decide.” “I don’t mind either way.” “It doesn’t matter what I want/need.” “I’m fine!”
If you are a parent reading this article,
What do you believe happens to a child being taught
If you are the child of a parent unaware of their addiction to limiting beliefs,
What have you done to overcome the limiting beliefs
you’ve inherited from your parents?
To know more about how to heal from a parents unaware of their addictions to limiting beliefs, stay tuned for part two of this two part series, where I will share with you 10 strategies to heal yourself and become the leading example of what you wish to see more in your world.
Your Emotional Intelligence coach,
P.S. To schedule a complimentary fifteen-minute E.I. coaching session with me, here’s my scheduling link: https://meetme.so/AnneBeaulieu